.till sickness comes

“If you can’t go back to your mother’s womb, you’d better learn to be a good fighter.” ― Anchee Min, Red Azalea

So we were down with cold on women’s day. All of us three girls. Aqilah was at 39.3 C, it seriously made me jump out of my skin. Her condition even haunted me in my dreams.

I could not remember when i last had fever. But i remember the most how it felt down with dengue. The doctor asked, “were you out too much? Eating out too much? Talk too much? Or see too many people? Attending events, maybe?”

“I’m an insurance agent, doc,” the simplest answer i could ever think of out of my limited voice.

“Oh, that explains it all,” with a crumbling smile.

Health is everything. You can’t work without proper health. Your kids won’t  be fed with you not working. And you must pay the doctor for your medication. At the end of the day, money does matter. You can definitely live without money, but we are living in a world where everything comes with a price.

Get yourself covered with a health insurance, or let the hospital bill drains your savings.

.the wise little hen

“The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking you’ve got to have a what-the-hell attitude.” — Julia Child

I always love cooking. Hell, i could definitely  live doing nothing but cook.

However, with kids growing and have been demanding so much ever, i love money more. Hence i have need to work. How i wish i could work from my kitchen.

Now that we have been busy juggling with things that bring us money, i spare my love for pots and pans for the weekend. And it has to be quick.

I sprinted  myself across the aisles, grabbing two medium cencaru, a can of cendawan butang, a  pack of green taugeh, and some young old (actually) gingers. And after a very simple late breakfast with teh tarik and a piece of bread, i started kung-fu fighting for lunch.

I grilled the fish and stir fried the green taugeh. It was magnificent enough to be fit onto our small meja jepun for our little family.

And after all have been said and done, i browsed for egg tart recipe while chanting, “May the oven be good to me.”

And yes, it did.

As Saturday slowly drawing its curtain down, i really feel like dancing. Be positive with our life and embrace everything, come what may. At the end of the day, a woman with accomplished mission and a cup of hot tea sleeps better.

Wish for tomorrow: Blue Bayou

.facebook and the lost fool’s paradise

“i half closed my eyes and imagined this was the spot where everything I’d ever lost since my childhood had washed up, and I was now standing here in front of it, and if I waited long enough, a tiny figure would appear on the horizon across the field and gradually get larger until I’d see it was Tommy, and he’d wave, and maybe even call.” — Kazuo Ishiguro, Never Let Me Go

I miss everything.

I even miss feeling irritated at irresponsible colleague having to switch off main power when my experiment had ran for more than 3 weeks and had just another 3 days to be completed.

And suddenly all memories faded become bigger and brighter, and eat me.


There was an Indonesian student in our lab, whom i miss, really. We weren’t really close but somehow her existence had given us some sorts of contentment. And inspiration. With her impulsive jokes, transparent opinions, and offbeat giggle.

I remember my husband once sang Selimut Tetangga and she was like, “euw, lagu tu jelek bangat.”

And now everytime Selimut Tetangga is on air, we would say, “lagu Anggie.”

How is she doing now? Where is she exactly?

I guess that’s life. People come and go, and now with information transmit faster than the sound, we lost. We lost of the essence of inherent entanglement, the human needs to care for each other. And yet we are just a bunch of ignorant bastards.

Chances are, with the ocean separates us apart, i won’t ever see Anggie anymore. There is no way my life line would intersect hers at any point in the future.

Friendship is way much better without Facebook. At least we would not loose hope, and work hard to hold on what we have.


Life isn’t about getting what we want. Life is actually about what we give to others.