We all know that hunger can turns things ugly.
But we also have been taught to fight wild desires through fasting. In other words, hunger can suppress excessive craves, be it towards food, towards goods, people, emotions, laziness (ehem!), everything. But we oftentimes defeated.
That’s how we get to the prayer room and talk about others. Then we lose temper on little things like misspelling and slow traffic. Then we refuse to work things out at our best level, procrastinate and cold-shouldering.
Then we start blaming others for everything that went wrong.
I wish, I can make things better for tomorrow. There’s not so many days left of our Ramadan. But there are a lot to make up. (note to myself: see, writing can actually motivates you.)
Remember, Ramadan is not the month to do it all. Ramadan is the month to start and keep doing – to build good habits. May we find each other again next year.
While I think it is remarkable how my brain processes complex information and coordinates all senses and physique to combat, feat, and accomplished, I somehow want it to stop.
I don’t know which one is more exhausted than the other; the brain or the body. But I ended up filling my tummy with distress and sadness, adding up the figures on both measuring tape and bathroom scale. I can actually feel the load as I climb the stairs.
“It was like when you make a move in chess and just as you take your finger off the piece, you see the mistake you’ve made, and there’s this panic because you don’t know yet the scale of disaster you’ve left yourself open to.” — Kazuo Ishiguro,
F/n: #prayforPasirGudang. May the toxic fume wiped away once and for all.
Just another few days before Rejab.